I editted it.
Whenever I mention this arrival, I do get furious. But, I guess if I told everyone, I wouldn’t have to tell another soul alive!
My arrival. Well, I received this piece of paper, much like a brochure. I like looking at brochures, as they add interest to me immensely. This brochure was special. You might think that brochures that look like this are much like `cons` but this one was interesting. A free vacation! I thought I’d give it a go; even though I wouldn’t win. So the results came in by next week, I opened the package, and it had read this:
“Congrats! You have won a whole entire decade on this fantastic island!”
I continued to read the brochure, soon going up to the air-port with my belongings; Thinking this would be a marvellous holiday, a adventure on a deserted island. I was only on my own. As I trod onto the air-plane feebily, as the plane instantly sped off into a island, right next-by, but surrounded by water. Soon, I was launched off of the air-plane, That was amphibians; as the plane slowly began to land on the briny foam, landing softly on the ground, with a small sink into the beach sand. Before I could scramble onto the plane, to get my belongings or to get off of this island, the plane sped off, leaving me with only one T-shirt. I sat sulkily on the soft, yellow sandy beach sand, as I ran my soft fingers through the yellow grains of sand; admiring the sooth heat of the sun.
Whatever you grade it, give reasons why; and examples of what and why I could edit it. e.g; [You could of put that, instead of this.]
Remember, there are B-, B, B+,A, A-, A+ W/e
Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:38 pm